Long time no... anything, really.
I have a few updates and just felt like getting rid of the only other journal entry I've done this year (wow...)
First off, I have a tumblr now and I pay a bit more attention and love to it nowadays. It's shaeeldera.tumblr.com/ and I also have a portfolio tumblr that has my animation and good arts on it. elderastudios.tumblr.com/
Second, since my last journal entry back in February I have acquired three cats. The first, Newt, I got from a shelter back in March. A few months later I rescued Zoe from a neglectful home that didn't want her. And last but not least, Tank just showed up at our house one day a few weeks after Zoe arrived and my dad just let her in the house. So now I have three cats and they're delightful. Except for the fact that Zoe doesn't like Newt... But she's just a grumpy old lady.
Also, no one really asked or anything, but the reason I've been so inactive is dealing with general anxiety and depression stuff. I'm doing better than I have been, but it's still hard to find motivation most days. That, and along with my personal health issues, early this year started with health problems for my poor computer. I spent, like, a month or more fixing it up, taking it apart and putting it back together and eventually reinstalling Windows and losing all the stuff I had on it. So that was fun...
Anywhoo... This has been a bit of an update on my life that no one asked for. Oh, and it's my 25th birthday in less than two weeks, which I keep forgetting about and oh dear Primus it's so close and I have no money and whoooo boy I'm under a lot of stress.
But yeah, things are going okay I guess... I hope everyone has a nice rest of the year.
Top 25 Fictional Crushes (Men)
So 
did a thing, so I had to do the thing too. She did 20, but I couldn't narrow it down, so I did 25. Since I'm an asexual, these might seem weird to people, but I mostly just love these guys for their personalities and the amount I want to cuddle them. Enjoy my weirdness.
1 Blitzwing (Transformers Animated)
I cannot say enough about Blitzwing. He’s my favorite (don’t tell Starscream) and I love his face(s), okay? He’s just so silly and cute, and comes with three personalities for the price of one. That, and this is terribly important, he has a German accent. As previously mentioned, aside from Russian, that is my favorite accent. I could listen to Blitzwing (specifically Random, who is hilarious) speak all day.
2 Starscream (Transformers Prime)
Steve Blum, I still want to marry your voice! Starscream in TFP is absolutely wonderful. His character design just makes me so happy, and it turns out he was designed by drawing a cobra over his silhouette. He just looks like the cunning bastard he is and it’s wonderful. Plus, he’s pretty darn cute. He has high heels, and when he’s happy, his wings flutter. He has an amazing puppy dog face, and is just generally one of those people who gets beat down so much that you actually want him to succeed sometimes. Also, this gif.
3 Razer (Green Lantern: The Animated Series)
Razer is just an adorable woobie. He’s also a total badass. He also shows that not all red lanterns are bad guys, they can also be balls of righteous rage. Honestly, his character arc is wonderful and if you haven’t seen the show spoilers! I just find it amazing that he starts the series as the most hopeless character, literally saying that they were all going to die, but ends the series full of hope and having a blue lantern ring chasing after him. Now that is a character arc that makes me shudder with excitement. And also rage at Cartoon Network for canceling a wonderful series.
4 Manolo Sanchez (The Book of Life)
Manolo is absolutely precious. And he’s another guy that challenges traditional masculinity. He wants to be a musician when his entire family has been bull fighters. He thinks killing is wrong, and is just generally a sweet and sensitive guy. That, and he has a wonderful singing voice and accent that makes me so happy. Besides, he loves you too much.
5 Megamind (Megamind)
I generally hate movies with Will Ferrel, but Megamind is one of my favorite movies. I think I just dislike his humor, but his delivery and acting is absolutely wonderful. He really fits the character of an eccentric alien genius deciding it was his destiny to become a super villain after he crash landed in an earth prison as a baby and had the inmates raise him. He was a shy, awkward kid that grew up to be an awkward and wonderfully adorakable adult that mispronounces random words and is really bad at being a super villain. But at least he knows that presentation is important.
6 Tadashi Hamada (Big Hero 6)
Spoilers ahead! Tadashi is just the cutest thing. He’s smart, caring, handsome, and a great big brother. I’d say more about him, but he died early on in the movie and even though it works well with the plot I just wish they hadn’t killed him so we could’ve gotten more of his wonderfulness.
7 Big Chill (Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien)
Big Chill is strangely adorable to me, okay? His wings turn into a poncho, he can turn intangible and has ice powers (which, previously stated, I love). That, and he’s also a mom. Yes. In one episode he laid eggs and had adorable little alien babies. So I just find that precious.
8 Blades (Transformers Rescue Bots)
Yes, Rescue Bots is aimed at preschoolers, but it’s a wonderful show. And one of my favorite parts of the show is Blades. He’s a helicopter that is afraid of flying. Basically everything he does makes me want to hug him because he’s generally nervous or scared of danger, and he also really likes earth movies and television. I think we’d get along if he’d be okay with me cuddling him. (I don't know why I decided to put the picture of him covered in flobsters...)
9 Loki Laufeyson (Thor/The Avengers/Thor: The Dark World)</b>
Loki is just… Tom Hiddleston is a beautiful man, and he’s even more beautiful as Loki. I just like everything about his character and, in true fangirl fashion, I look way too deep into his motivations and it just makes me want to hug him. With a shitty dad like Odin, he really does need a hug.
10 Hal Jordan (Green Lantern: The Animated Series)
Hal, like Star Lord, is also the lone human in space and therefore also represents my love of human jokes no one gets. He also cares for his crew and is basically like a dad to Razer and Aya, which is so cute. He gets serious when the situation needs it and doesn’t take crap from the Guardians when they thing he did something wrong. He’s just an all around good guy in a spandex suit that shows off his butt.
11 Pyro (Team Fortress 2)
I don’t even know if Pyro should be on this list because their gender really hasn’t been confirmed by Valve. Still, my personal belief is that they’re assigned male at birth (amab) and gender fluid, which would make me happy. He’s just so adorable despite also being horrifying. Just the fact that Pyroland and Balloonicorn exist makes me happy and want to cuddle him.
12 Star Lord (Guardians of the Galaxy)
Star Lord represents one of my favorite things. He’s the guy who makes human jokes that no one else gets and therefore take seriously and make it even funnier. He’s also absolutely adorable because Chris Pratt is adorable and he went to a children’s hospital dressed as Star Lord because of a bet with Captain America. How could you not love a guy that sweet?
13 Medic (Team Fortress 2)
Okay, so I have a very strong love of German accents. Medic is not only adorable, but he’s funny, actually pretty caring (at least to Heavy 
) if you think about it, but he’s German and therefore awesome. That, and he has pet doves (one of whom is named Archimedes) and that’s just so cute to me.
14 Soundwave (Transformers: Prime)
My love of Soundwave mostly comes from my own headcanons about him. That, and his frame is just really cute to me for some reason. The long arms just make me imagine someone in a sweater with sleeves that are too long and that’s so cute. That, and he’s just really good at what he does and could probably beat the crap out of everyone, Bot or Con, but just doesn’t feel like it. Oh, and he also has a pet birdie (okay, robot bird) Laserbeak, and that makes him more adorable by default.
15 Spider-Man (Ultimate Spider Man)
I just love how snarky and wonderful Spider-Man is. He’s just a fun superhero in a sea of serious and gritty superheroes. Yeah, he has to put up with a lot of crap, but he manages to crack jokes and that’s great. That, and he’s one of the few male superheroes who’s a more of a lean body type like I enjoy as opposed to a big, burly dude.
16 Optimus Prime (Transformers Prime)
Along with Steve Blum, Peter Cullen just has an amazing ovary-shattering voice. But if you took his voice away from TFP Optimus, he’d just look like this adorable young thing and that makes me happy. Seriously, just watch his hips when he walks because they’re fabulous. That, and he’s just a great dude and puts up with a lot of crap from his own team and it makes me wanna hug him. The only problem was his transformation to big and bulky (aka. Robustimus Prime). It just looked stupid and ruined the image of the outnumbered and outgunned Autobots managing to fight the Decepticons. Original Optimus all the way!
17 Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)
Jack Frost is just so pretty and I would hug him if he wasn’t cold like I imagine he’d be. He’s playful, surprisingly caring, and great with kids, which is wonderful. Even though he acts pretty childish, he knows when to step up and be a total badass with his ice powers. Basically, I just love ice powers because I love snow...
18 Hiccup (How to Train your Dragon series)
Hiccup was adorable in HTTYD 1, and was just so much more attractive in HTTYD 2. The cool thing about him is the way he challenges masculine stereotypes. He manages to be successful with kindness and innovation instead of strength and anger. Basically, he just makes the feminist in me happy. That, and he can be tough when he needs to be. He’s just a well-written character and those make me swoon.
19 Music Meister (Batman: The Brave and The Bold)
Definitely my favorite episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. The Music Meister is not just any villain. He’s a singing villain. Voiced by Neil Patrick Harris! (Where have I heard that one before?) He’s arguably kind of a jerk since he’s evil, but he’s just an adorable ginger with a tooth gap and music note glasses. That, and he has a bajillion wonderful costume changes and a scooter that looks like two eighth notes, and who doesn’t want an eighth note scooter?
20 Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop)
Spike is mostly up here because if I could I’d marry Steve Blum’s voice. I also just like how he’s lanky but pretty graceful and fluid in his motions. That, and he’s just amusing and badass. It’s been a while since I’ve watched Cowboy Bebop, but the character has stuck with me.
21 Mal Reynolds (Firefly)
Serious when he needs to be, funny when he can be, and an actually pretty nice guy once you get past all the serious captain-y stuff. I just love the way he cares for his crew and can find humor when a situation doesn’t look good. I think my favorite episodes focusing on him are “Out of Gas” and “Shindig,” both showing two very different sides to a complicated man. That, and Nathan Fillion is darn good looking.
22 Flynn Rider (Tangled)
How can you not like Flynn? He’s cute, has an outfit that I desperately would like for myself, some pretty rockin’ facial hair and is just generally a good guy. Yeah, he’s a thief, but he know’s it’s wrong and just wants to be happy and make sure his lady love is happy too, and that’s super sweet.
23 Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)
Not only is he pretty good at being Batman, he’s also a cutie. He’s more fun than Bruce Wayne too, since he’s a bit less in the dark and brooding department. Though he still has enough dark and brooding to be pretty wonderful. Also, he has a defined upper lip, which is one of those weird things that I like for some reason.
24 Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney Series)
It was a toss up between him and Miles Edgeworth. I picked Phoenix because he’s just so adorably dorky. Adorkable. That, and he’s just a nice guy who always wants to help people he thinks are innocent.
25 Male Aurin (Wildstar Online)
(Can't find a good picture, so I'll just add one later when I can figure out in game screenshots xD)
